The Freedom Beyond Motherhood and Control

Part of my Kundalini and Relationships guide · Teachings by Guru Sanju

Background

But during this phase of her awakening, every identity she held began to break. She could no longer feel water on her skin, her body felt numb, her mind was fogged, and her heart was trapped in grief as her children’s independence threatened her deepest identity as a mother.

She came to me for guidance, and I, Guru Sanju, recognized immediately that she had entered one of the most intense phases of the awakening process—the phase where motherhood, control, responsibility, and emotional identities burn away so that the soul can emerge. What follows is the complete discourse I gave her, refined into a full written teaching for any reader who is passing through the same fire.

The Phase You Are Experiencing Is Normal

Hello, Maria. How are you? Yes, thank you. It is a change from what I usually wear—and change is the only constant in life. Tell me whatever you want to express. Anything.

Whatever you are going through is very normal. This is the reality you are facing, but it is not your journey alone. Whenever a soul reaches this particular stage, it passes through these exact experiences.

The first thing that happens is that the brain and the nervous system stop working normally. That is the most difficult part. The second is that you stop feeling your body. Even the water you pour over yourself feels like nothing. The sense of feeling—both physical and energetic—shuts down. But this is normal.

Everything you are experiencing right now, I have experienced myself. All of my students go through this phase. This is why I am here.

Accept This Phase Instead of Fighting It

So first, stop worrying. Embrace it. Accept that this phase must happen. Once you accept, you will find peace.

Things will remain this way for some time until you pass through this layer. After that, you will feel that this is your new normal. Life will feel different. You will feel detached from everything.

Your energy field has changed. Your husband, your daughter, everyone around you remains in their same energy frequency, but you are now in a different frequency. This mismatch creates chaos, disharmony, and friction.

Do not victimize yourself for this. Do not punish yourself.

The Breaking of the Mother Identity

Why am I smiling? Because identification with motherhood is the last layer of bondage. Identification with “wife” is the last boundary of your freedom. When you are free from these two identities, you become truly free.

Motherhood is an existential identity. Not only humans—even animals carry this. The mother wants to protect and care for the child. But now, your children no longer need you. They have already detached from you. Yet your identity as a mother is refusing to dissolve, and this is why you are suffering.

After you pass through this phase, you will still love your children—but not with the emotional bondage of a mother. You will love them with a deeper compassion. Your love will become mature, powerful, and unconditional.

As long as you are identified with being a mother, nothing will change. This will dissolve naturally, energetically. You cannot force it.

Letting Go of Control

Start your day and do your daily chores with mouth exhalation—before, during, and after the activity. This is important so you are not bedridden. You have served as a nurse for thirty-five years. You know what dependency looks like. If you do not want to depend on others, keep your body functioning.

When the brain is foggy, don’t push yourself. Read a book, watch a movie, declutter the house. If nothing feels right, then do nothing. Take your dog for a walk. Go into the forest.

This is not a normal human phase. This is the soul searching for itself.

When you sit doing nothing, suddenly you may find yourself staring outside the window. Let yourself do that. Look at the trees, look at the sky. This is a secret meditation. Something will shift inside you. Do it every day.

Buddha sat under a tree for years doing nothing. One day, he became free. When you stop doing, the remnants of emotional energy begin to burn.

To change your neural pathways, you must stop controlling life. You were a nurse, a wife, a mother—always responsible, always in control. Now your brain feels threatened because it cannot control anything. So stop controlling.

Let the house remain messy. Let people distance themselves. Let relationships shift. Accept everything. This acceptance will free you.

Your Energetic Role Will Change

Not a single powerful person remains bound to their family energetically, even if they stay physically. Energetic equations change after freedom.

A free man becomes like a guru to his wife and children—not emotionally entangled, but divinely responsible. The same will happen with you.

You will feel the shift:
“I am living with the same people, but I am not the same.”

You will recognize that you have climbed Mount Everest while they are still at base camp. You will guide them, not cling to them.

The day your energy shifts, you will feel your husband needs you more than you need him. The roles reverse. This is the future I see for you, and it will unfold slowly, layer by layer.

Chop Wood, Carry Water—Do Life Happily

Wake up, cook, wash dishes, clean, declutter—but do everything happily. One activity at a time, with mouth exhalation before, during, and after.

After each activity, pause. Drink tea or coffee. Ask yourself:
“What excites me right now?”

If it’s your dog, go to him. If it’s the garden, go there. This is how the soul moves from mind to heart.

You are not loving yourself. And unless you love yourself, this phase will become more and more painful. Self-love is the only path forward.

Finding the Activity That Awakens You

Close your eyes and put one hand on your heart chakra. Go deep inside. Find one activity that excites you—one activity that is not dependent on anyone else.

Go back to childhood or teenage years. What did you love doing? Something that was entirely yours—singing, dancing, meditation, cooking, anything.

Swimming. Yes. When was the last time you swam?

Hire someone to accompany you. When you do this activity once, your brain will register that you are a normal person. Trauma will release. Freeze will melt. A trainer can help in the beginning. Later you can do it on your own.

Do not stay at home thinking endlessly. Take action. Transmute energy.

Your Marriage and Your Path Forward

Stop consulting anyone else for now. Today, focus only on yourself. Research a swimming center or gym. Find someone who can assist you practically. Do the activity once. See the shift.

List all the activities that excite you. Begin them one by one. After a week, if you wish to consult me, you can take regular sessions—or work independently. Your choice.

Yes, you are powerful. I know that.

The Freedom Project

I suggest you join one month of the Freedom Project—twelve sessions, three per week, each thirty minutes. No long-term commitment right now. Only one month.

The focus will be your brain and nervous system. I will guide you through activities like the house-cleaning task you did earlier. Slowly, step by step, I will hold your hand through this.

If you feel connected to me and protected in the project, join it. Within these thirty days, we will also plan the physical project where you come to India.

If you come physically, I can guarantee faster and deeper healing. That is the most powerful option.

Tell me how prepared you are. Do you want to come in August? You may need one month to prepare. My team will send you a price estimate. If it is affordable, we proceed. Until then, you can join the Freedom Project.

When you come physically, I will be with you throughout the seven-day project. From the airport till the last session, my team and I will take care of everything.

Your time has come. When the soul is ready for freedom, it pushes you toward the master. No other option remains.

I will free you from your pain and suffering if you surrender.

Breathwork Practice

Close your eyes.

Inhale slowly.
Exhale completely.

After exhalation, hold your breath. Use your hands to hold the breath energetically. Keep it held until you feel breathless. Then breathe normally for a few breaths.

Repeat this for twenty-one rounds after the session.

I will also send written instructions.

If you join the project, I will take the next session in two to three days. Three sessions every week. If you join the physical project, I will give you healing in every session.

Nothing will be compulsory during brain fog. Only this breathwork is essential so you can remain functional.

Closing

I am with you. I am not leaving you. You are not leaving me. You will be free. You will rise. You will return to your true self.

Bye, Maria. See you soon.

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