Your wife is not your roommate. You must know that. If you are marrying someone and you are in a relationship with a female who is your wife, then she is not your roommate.
She is not your roommate—means that there are certain union energy frequencies between a male and a female, and these frequencies unite them together to be life partners. If you are living with your wife like a roommate, like a friend, then she is not your life partner. And you should not stay with such a female who is there for her own reasons and not here for your growth and prosperity.
You, as a male—you, as a masculine energy—will grow only when your female contributes to your life: for your productivity, for your growth, for your improvement and evolution in life. If you are marrying someone or being with someone who is there with you to share the expenses, to bear the cost of living, and to fulfill her dreams, then better—you should not be married, or should not be with your girlfriend, or any female who is in such kind of relationship with you.
There are many layers of bonding between a male and a female that contribute towards the success of the partnership. Who is your life partner has more to do than only bearing the expenses, or dividing the work, or dividing the finances of living together. Most of the nice guys—who have been my students—they have come up with the most critical conditions with their relationships with their wives, and all of them failed in their marriages. They eventually took divorce from such relationships, which were accompanied by a narcissist wife who was staying with them in the name of marriage.
You need to dissect from the core the existence of the females in your life—and not allow anyone and everyone to be with you during your courtship period or during your pre-married dating duration. You should at least spend five years of your life in a live-in relationship with that person. And five years are enough for you to know whether that person, whether that female, can be your life partner forever—or else, you don’t stay at all.
Stay single. Date different women. Meet different women for different purposes: to meet your physical and other needs. But don’t marry. Don’t get into this trap of marriage where your wife becomes your roommate after certain years of your life.
You need to know that if the female in your life is not in a healthy sexual relationship with you, then she is not your partner. She is not your wife. She is just a roommate who is sharing the space that you are providing. And you, as a man, should perform to fulfill the needs of this roommate? Why? Both of you are individuals. Both of you are adults. Both of you are smart enough to live independently.
Why stay in the same house? Why have so many desires and dreams which remain unfulfilled alone—and then you come together to fulfill the dreams, or the desires, the greed, the need to rise above your standards without investing in yourself?
Sharing the expenses or the investments of two people cannot make you rise above the standards. You have to invest in yourself—to raise your benchmark in life, to raise your quality of life, to become more productive—and invest your skills, your knowledge, your talent in the area that is your ikigai, that is your passion.
When you live life like this, you don’t need to share the expenses with any other person. And sharing the expenses with any person—be it with your wife or any family member, your parents—makes you weak. You’re not a man.
If you want to rise above the average man, then you need to take control of your life in your hands. Everything should be in your control: your needs, your wants, your desires, your dreams, your ambition. Everything should be fulfilled by you—with your potential, with your power, with your courage, with your risks. It should not be dependent on another person.
Because if you share the expenses and the space with another person, the other person also contributes towards killing your dream, killing your ambition, killing your potential to become unlimited.
What kind of energy are you sharing with this female in the name of “wife”? What are her goals? What are her dreams? What are her desires and aspirations?
Are you lost in fulfilling the dreams, aspirations, and goals of your wife? Were your aspirations different and unique before meeting this female—before meeting this girl?
Were you having these similar dreams—or were you having different kinds of creativity in your existence, which wanted you to explore those possibilities in life?
Before meeting this female, where were you? What were your passions?
Just imagine for some time: that this female, your wife, is not in your life right now. And you are getting access to the same passion that you had before meeting her. And you have all the possibilities to fulfill all those dreams… all that creativity. Now—how will you live your life?
Right now, go into that space. Go into that energy. Go into that frequency of creating your life from that space where you are fulfilling your passion. And see how the presence of this female, your wife, is creating a barrier—a resistance—an obstacle to your realization of your dreams.
Sharing expenses, sharing the space, a house, living under the same roof—is not marriage. Is not partnership. If you are staying to provide to the girl in the name of love, in the name of romantic relationship with her, in the name of emotional bonding with her, then you are not a man.
If you are a man, then you will dictate the terms. You will dominate. And then only your dopamine will be released.
Your everyday dose of dopamine is not getting released because you are not living your energetic reality. Your energetic reality is to live like a masculine man—from the instinctive masculine energy that you are.
But after the introduction of this female in your life, you lost your passion. You lost your direction. You lost your semen.
Semen retention does not mean that you are refraining from having sex or you are not doing sex with your partner. Semen retention means not ejaculating during sex, and adopting the tantric sexual method in which your sex energy is transmuted into cosmic electricity.
When your semen is retained, your semen gets transmuted into bioelectricity in the body. And that bioelectricity recharges your nerve centers. That is reabsorbed by the body. The nutritional content in the semen—minerals in the semen—is reabsorbed, and that builds your musculoskeletal system. That strengthens your nerves. That strengthens your brain. And it happens beautifully when you do it regularly.
Once in a while, you can have nightfall. That is natural. But your morning wood should be natural to you too.
The problems that you face in your sexual health—premature ejaculation, or erectile dysfunction, and other sex-related problems—are not due to other health reasons. It is due to not living your masculine energy.
You should know that the relationship between male and female has to be sexual. And if it is not that, then you should not stay with such a person under the same roof like a roommate.
Your wife is not your friend. Your friend is friend. Your wife is your female partner who contributes towards completing you in all senses. She is surrendered to you. She is receptive to your masculine sexual energy. And her purpose is not to give birth to a child or children.
Don’t get married to give birth to children. You are not a species to procreate. Reproduction is one of your functions—but it is not the main function.
Most of the nice guys that have gone through divorce have gone through the worst relationship with their females. They have stopped having sex with the man after a few months and a few years of their marriage—but they were in the marriage for 20 years, 15 years, 16 years—for other reasons.
Someone was in the marriage to take care of the child. Someone was there for the money. Someone was there for other exclusive, secretive reasons: to have extramarital affairs with someone else.
They rob. These females rob the man of all his energy—all his productive life. They destroy the career of the man for decades. And in their 40s or late 50s, when they come, they are burned out. They have lost all their energetic masculinity power.
These men have attempted suicide. They have attempted to kill themselves at one point because they had lost the purpose of living their life on their own.
The burden of paying off the liabilities which has been created over years in the name of marriage—to provide for this female.
Some of these females do jobs. When they do jobs, they become wounded masculine. They start dominating the man in the house. If the female in your house is dominating you, then you are not supposed to live with that person. As a male, you should dominate.
And domination does not mean you are angry or you are frustrated. Domination is the natural energy of the man—and that is the leadership quality. Domination is equivalent to the leadership in you—the leader in you. You operate from the space of being a leader. You lead, and she follows. This is the nature—the yin and yang relationship. This is how energy is. The masculine energy is a leader. The feminine energy is receptive. The masculine energy will give, the feminine energy will receive.
Contrary to this, the females who are a good life partner—they have contributed to the success of their man by contributing towards their progress, their prosperity. They have raised the productivity of the man by having a beautiful relationship in which the home feels like a divine place—where the man is able to create whatever he wants to create.
And most of these men, who are supported by their companion in the form of feminine females, are deeply satisfied—even in bed. They are deeply satisfied in their sexual life. They’re healthy. Their wife—their partner—has maintained herself. They have remained healthy. They have remained sexually active.
The females—those who don’t contribute towards the relationship of being a female with the man—suffer from genital problems: PCOD, obesity, different kinds of depressionary tendencies, mental health issues, brain health issues. And also, the partner suffers. The man also suffers from the same problems.
You need to check what kind of relationship you want to have with the female. And that is your authority—your autonomy—to decide. No one else in the world can decide on behalf of you. You should decide who will be your partner and what kind of relationship you will share with your partner—with your female. You should dictate the terms of being in a relationship with your female partner before deciding to spend time together under one roof.
The terms and conditions of living in the house with you—sharing the space in the same house—should be clear.
Some of the instinctive secrets that I teach my students in the Phoenix Project to be a man, I’m sharing with you here. The first thing that you should be clear about is: you will manage the finances. The finances will not be in the hands of the female. They don’t know how to manage finances. They know how to consume and to spend. They have no control over the finances. And the budget and expenses of the family, if you are together, should be fixed. It should not go beyond a certain limit.
If you want to buy new clothes, then the old clothes should be thrown away or used. It should not be stacked in the wardrobe. Your house should not become a museum of collection of things and matter that is collected by your wife’s mind.
So you should not be in any relationship with any female who is a consumer. She should be a contributor—a creator. She should be invested in you. She should take care of you. She should ensure that you are having the best food, you are having the best sleep, you’re having the best health.
And she should not work outside of the house. This you must ensure. She should be available to you 24×7. And if she is not available that way, then don’t marry. Or don’t get together. Let she be happy in her home, with her family, her parents. Let her individual life be taken care of by her parents and her family members. You are not responsible to bear her expenses.
The next part, which I did not mention till now, is the part which is the most dangerous. When I say your wife is not your roommate, the wives marry the husbands to get divorced after certain years. And then they ask for alimony. And the husband is bankrupt.
They create cases against them—police complaints—and file so many complaints against the man about “abusive relationship.” On the other hand, these females are the abusive ones. They torture the man—more than physical torture—they emotionally blackmail the man.
I keep on getting such cases. And I have to solve them with power. I empower the men to take the divorce, to give the money, and start their life afresh.
So if you are stuck in any relationship and you feel that this is the case with me, then better you take early decision—before it is too late.
If your children are involved also in the marriage, then get rid of them too. Manage the money and get the freedom of your life. Your life should be with you to live. They have already spoiled it. They have already murdered the man in you. They have already killed the man in you. Now, what is left?
Only hope: that “I will start afresh.”
If your wife is working, then go for—or even if she is not working—go for mutual divorce. Get rid of her. If you have done this mistake, don’t let her spoil the rest of your life by torturing you.
You are not a host. And she should not be given the power to be a parasite which feeds on you. If she is narcissist, if she is abusive, if she tortures you, then get away from her.
Learn all the life skills. The next thing that I teach men is: learn all the life skills. Try to know all the skills that you need to live independently—the way you had lived in your bachelorhood. The way you had spent your life alone. Learn those skills.
If you have not yet learned cooking skills—awesome cooking skills—become a chef of your life. Cook good food. Give your love to it. And then, you will not need any female to cook for you in the name of love.
Do all the household chores: clean the house, know how to broom the house, how to sweep the floor, how to clean the dishes, how to keep things in order, how to wash the clothes, dry the clothes, fold the clothes after drying. All these life skills—you learn and do it.
Start from now. Whether you are in marriage, whether your marriage is going to be broken, or you are planning to stay alone—start from now. Wherever you are.
Get rid of the dependency of the females in your life. Don’t allow the person to ruin and rule your life.
You are the man. You have the power to proceed. You have the power to penetrate. You have the power to protect. But you will protect only the person who is submissive.
Today’s female does not need your protection. They’re already protected with their masculine energy.
What will you do with such masculine energy in your home? The energy field becomes so much toxic that you cannot stay in that energy field—where the female has become or is radiating with masculine energy. You feel that a certain kind of competition is going on.
These females compete with the man in their life. And they try to become more than the man.
How is it possible? A female can never become more than the man in a relationship. Females come with different qualities. The beauty of the female is in remaining feminine. And their femininity is their power.
They don’t know—but you should know.
You deserve a feminine female—who is submissive, who is receptive of all that you give to her, including your masculine sexual energy.
You should know how to dominate a female in bed. You should know how to lead and proceed in life.
She should not occupy your energy field. She should be entering your energy field.
And never marry someone who energetically makes you feel small. Don’t marry someone who is of a height higher than you, or of health higher than you, bigger than you. Don’t marry a fat woman if you are a thin man. Don’t marry a tall girl if you are having small height. It matters the most—from the energetic perspective.
If you are tall, your wife or female should be short and thin, slim. There are many dynamics of energy that you need to know. And if you already have someone who is of different dimensions, then you need to learn all this frequency of masculine and feminine energy from me. Then only you will be able to lead her. Otherwise, you will live a mediocre life and you will be full of regrets in the later period of your life—when you will have no choice other than to remain with this female and end your life.
Some of my students come in their 70s, who tried to commit suicide, who tried to take away their life—because of the regrets they have done by marrying 30 years ago, 40 years ago. And now they realize that they have wasted their life. They could not do what they always wanted to do. They could not travel to places. They could not create something that was popping up in them.
Someone wanted to create music. Someone wanted to create so many business ideas. So many beautiful ideas get suppressed because of one fact: that your wife or female becomes your roommate.
Even if you take big homes, if you shift to big villas or where the space is big—it doesn’t matter as long as that female is dominating in your life. And she is like yet any other female.
There is no equal sharing between male and female relationship. It is always the leading and the receptivity. The male will always be higher. And this is the universal fact. This is the universal truth.
Even in the animal world—the strongest male, the alpha male, dominates the entire herd. And all the females in the herd of lions sleep with that main leader—the male lion—who is the strongest in the group.
I’m just giving a hint to all the dimensions of masculine energy that you have gotten acquainted with through this discourse.
It is about you. If you understand now, you will save many years of your life and start living the life that you wanted to live. But if you don’t understand now, then many more years will be wasted in becoming and remaining a nice guy—a person who doesn’t think about himself, who is not selfish, who always looks after the needs and the wishes of the other people, who remains a simp, and suppresses all the anger and frustration inside—and has all the health problems in later period.
It’s time to wake up from deep sleep and look with your open eyes what mistakes you are doing—by treating the female in your life like your roommate or like your friend.
Stop giving importance to females more than objects. They are object and you are the subject.
You are the subject of your life. You are the man. You have to realize that the instinctive man, the powerful man, is the subject—who leads, who controls, who rules, who takes the decision—and the others follow it.
Then only his life will be meaningful.
You are an independent being. You’re not dependent on anyone.
So stop letting the women in your life rule you. Take decisions. And make her do the things that you want her to do.
Become that for which you are born. Create your life in a new way.
Retain your semen and transmute it into powerful energy—the force that will make you a dynamic leader of your life.
First—lead yourself. Take the risk. Take the risk of going into the unknown. Spend time alone. Leave the matrix. Leave all these notions and beliefs that have caged you, that have restricted you, that have made you limited.
Pack your bags and go to a place where no one knows you. Go to an unknown land—where you will discover yourself.
Take that plunge. Take that step—first step—of living alone.
No one should be supportive of your decisions. Don’t expect that. No one will ever support you.
You have to take your own support—and the support of the universal powers. And that dopamine, that courage, will come only when you retain your semen. Your testosterone level will go up—will shoot up—and then only you will become someone powerful.
So do it. And don’t waste more time in the friendship game.
All right. Have a great day.
