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How to Overcome Victim Mentality? The Best Practical Guide

IGG Sanju

how to overcome victim mentality

Welcome to the journey of self-discovery and empowerment! 

In this guide, you will learn how to overcome victim mentality or victimhood and self-pity. 

Are you ready to transform your narrative and embrace a life driven by empowerment?

In this guide, you will get the answer to your pressing problems, where I will address your prime questions:

  • What is victimhood or self-pity? 
  • How can you deal with your partner, spouse, or a family member who is showing victimhood or self-pity while transacting with you? 
  • How can you overcome your victimhood or self-pity? 

Are you ready to transform your narrative and embrace a life driven by empowerment?

Key Takeaways – How to Overcome Victim Mentality?

1. Origins in Childhood: Victimhood is often learned in childhood from family members exhibiting a complaining and helpless nature.

2. Dependency in Relationships: You may display victimhood in relationships, expecting your partner to solve all your problems instead of working on yourself.

3. Neural Pathway Formation: Continuous expression of victimhood can lead to the hard-wiring of this behavioral trait in the nervous system, making it a default response to challenges.

4. Cultural Influences: Historical gender roles can contribute to the victimhood mindset, especially in women, but it is not limited to gender.

5. Identification with Roles: Associating oneself with specific roles, influenced by upbringing, can perpetuate a victim mentality.

6. Overcoming Victimhood: Self-improvement and mindset work are crucial to overcoming victimhood, focusing on personal empowerment and seizing opportunities.

7. Avoiding Self-Pity: Self-pity is unproductive and contributes nothing positive; addressing energetic blockages through coaching can be beneficial.

8. Accountability for Choices: Individuals, especially in their later years, need to acknowledge that their choices shaped their experiences, avoiding unnecessary victimization.

9. Real Torture vs. Relationship Struggles: Distinguishing between actual torture and relationship issues is crucial; taking steps toward empowerment is necessary in toxic relationships.

10. Ending Toxic Relationships: Recognizing signs of victimhood in a partner and taking decisive actions, such as divorce or breakup, is essential for personal growth and well-being.

11. Empowerment through Inner GPS: Connecting with IGG Sanju, your coach for guidance, assessing energetic blockages, and creating action plans based on your Inner GPS can lead to success in overcoming victimhood/victim mentality.

12. Personal Responsibility: Valuing oneself and making decisions that prioritize personal well-being is critical to breaking free from toxic relationships and embracing a fulfilling life.

Are you ready to learn the practical approach to know- How to Overcome Victim Mentality?

Let’s begin.

Understanding Victim Mentality and Self-Pity

How to overcome victim mentality

Victimhood or self-pity is a state of mind where one feels inferior, sabotaged, or repressed, adopting the behavior to gain attention and sympathy.

Victimhood or self-pity is a state of the mind when the mind feels inferior, sabotaged, or repressed and when you exhibit your behavior, becoming one with your mind.

The Behavioral Traits of Victimhood

You show the characteristics or traits of being a victim who cannot do anything to change the situation or to respond in a different way in life. 

  • Victimhood or self-pity is a behavioral trait and does not originate in you from birth. 
  • You adopt the behavior of pretending to be a victim because your mind feels that if you show victimhood, then you will get attention from people. 
  • It is a way to get sympathy from other people, and you expect that others can make you happy or solve your problems if you express them from the state of being a victim.

The Origin of Victimhood in Childhood

The behavior of victimhood is adopted by you in your childhood, whether you are a male or a female. 

When you are exposed to an environment in which your family members, in the form of your mother, friend, or relatives, show a complaining nature, show that they are in a condition where they cannot change anything about their life, you subconsciously pick up this behavior as a child. 

Gradually, when you grow up, you start implementing it in your life.

When you get into a relationship, generally, you cannot or do not show your behavior or victimhood to general people or people who are not so close to you. 

Have you ever questioned- How to Overcome Victim Mentality? in such situations

But when you get into a relationship, for example, in your teenage years, making a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you feel that your boyfriend or girlfriend is the person who will solve all your problems in life. 

  • You start crying, complaining, and becoming emotional with that person in the hope that the other person will solve all your problems in life. 
  • Instead of working on yourself and your mindset, you start expecting the other person to work on you. 
  • When this happens for a longer duration of time, this behavioral trait becomes hard-wired in your nervous system, and it becomes your neural pathway to feel like a victim in every situation in life. 
  • Whenever you do not succeed in any attempt, you start showing this behavioral trait spontaneously because your nervous system feels that if you are a failure in anything, then you are a victim. 

It is because you did not get enough opportunities or you are treated in a wrong way by the environment, society, or the world in general. For every situation, your mind starts playing the role of a victim.

Relationships and the Role of Victimhood

In any attempt, you start showing this behavioral trait spontaneously because your nervous system feels that if you are a failure in anything, then you are a victim. 

It is because you did not get enough opportunities or you are treated in a wrong way by the environment, by society, or by the world in general. 

For every situation, your mind starts playing the role of a victim. 


When you look into yourself, you will feel like the mother in the old movies during the ’60s and ’70s. 

The mother used to be the one who was victimized by the villain, and the son used to come to rescue the mother from the clutches of the villain. 

Likewise, when you look around you, you will find that many ladies or females keep crying all throughout their lives and do not take any action to change what they are crying about.

They always have complaints about the men in their lives, the men of the house, or men in general. 

This attitude of victimhood in females has come from our ancestors because, in earlier times, there was a period when women were sabotaged, repressed, and dominated by the male species in this world. 

But gradually, as we became more civilized and educated, now, in the modern world, there is no difference between a male and a female.

Societal Influence on Victimhood

When you identify yourself with a character or role in your life, you start behaving like a victim. 

Sometimes, if you are born in a family where your mother had a significant role in upbringing, even if you are a male, you have adopted this behavior. 

Now, in every situation, you exhibit that and operate from that victimhood, which makes you feel that life is not so beautiful, the world is a dirty place, or it is not serving you the way it is serving others.

How to Overcome Victim Mentality? Breaking the Cycle of Victimhood

You can overcome your behavior or nature of being a victim by working on yourself, by working in the direction where you feel that you are not getting enough opportunities to express yourself as a human being. 

  • Suppose you want to take my help in removing this negative behavior pattern in you so that you can work from an empowered state. In that case, you can connect with me for personal coaching. 
  • I will read your Inner GPS, locate your energetic blockages, and assess your mindset in the areas of your life where you feel that you are not enough. Self-pity is not a positive trait. 

By adopting this behavior, you are not contributing anything to anyone. You are not contributing to yourself as an asset, and you are not helpful to your family at any stage of your life.

Self-pity as a Detrimental Trait

Mostly, women in their late 30s, 40s, or 50s start behaving like a victim, as if someone has tortured them. 

They complain about decades being lost by selflessly doing things for others. My first question to them is, who told you to do so by compromising your needs? 

It was your choice. 

You must have seen the benefits in other ways of serving others; that’s why you did it. 

How to Overcome Victim Mentality in such cases?

So do not complain now like a victim to whom others are torturing. 

There are cases of absolute torture, and those need to be dealt with differently. 

It is not only torture to women; women torture men in a private space when they are in a relationship. 

Mutual Torture in Relationships

Men are conditioned not to complain, to suppress the torture of the women, which they show in the form of emotion. 

I have come across many cases where women do not allow men to go out of the house because they want to fight with the men and torture them so that they become helpless and cannot do anything. 

Suppose you come across such a partner, spouse, or family member who is torturing you with the attitude of becoming a victim. In that case, it is high time you take a step in this direction.

Empowering Yourself in Toxic Relationships

You can deal with them only by becoming powerful, and you can become powerful when you are working in the direction of your Inner GPS. 

Many times, when you are in a toxic relationship, your Inner GPS suggests that you get out of this relationship. 

  • If you are married, get a divorce. If you are in a mutual consensual relationship, then break up and get away from this person who is showing signs of victimhood. 
  • You have a life of your own, and if you value yourself, then you will definitely make a decision to be away from this person. 

How Can I Help You? 

For more insights, guidance, and personal help to help you come out of a toxic relationship of victimhood, you can connect with me. 

I will guide you and help you create action plans that will give you success in this direction. 


  • IGG Sanju

    IGG Sanju is the Co-Founder of Inner GPS Gurus. She is a Life Coach and Kundalini Master. She navigates your Inner GPS through reading your energies. She enjoys dissolving your problems through action-based Inner GPS Energy Work. Get Solutions to your Life Problems (Career, Wealth, Productivity, Relationship, Spirituality, Kundalini, Healing, and Health).

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