The Art of Saying No: The Best Practical Guide

Part of my Kundalini and Relationships guide · Teachings by Guru Sanju

In this article, you will learn:

• Why is It Important for You to Know the Art of Saying No?
• What Are the Best Ways of Saying No?

Why is it important for you to know the art of saying No? 

In this article, I have shared with you the importance of knowing the art of saying “No” and the best ways to say “No.”

Let us have a reality check of who you are.

1. Limited supply of time, money, and energy

You are an individual who is born as a human being and who has limited time, money, and energy to spend as long as you are alive.

2. Valuable

You need to say “No” to people because if you do not say “No,” then you will be used by other people for fulfilling their dreams and desires as human beings.

Cons of not saying No: 

1. Wastage of money directly: 

In the case of products, if you are not saying “No,” you will be the consumer of the products sold by other people, either directly or indirectly.

• Directly, someone is selling you an insurance policy or any other product in the form of an insurance policy that they want to sell you. It could be anything.
• The products sold to you through mass-scale advertisements are also a form of imposing something on you that you do not need.

Suppose you are unable to say “No” to these sellers. In that case, you are not only wasting your money, but you are also wasting your time and energy on something that is not useful for you.

Not only is it useless, but also it is unwanted for you. Moreover, it is killing your precious time, money, and energy when you buy such things.

2. Wastage of time and energy directly: 

In the case of relationships, when you cannot say “No” to people, you are robbed of your energy, which is so limited and valuable.

You feel exhausted at the end of the event or spending time with them.

For example, 

• You do not want to attend a marriage function or a social gathering.
• People invite you because of societal behavior or conditioning.
• You have the right to say “No” or not attend such functions at your will.
• If you do not attend a particular function, nothing will go wrong in their lives.
• But you, the individual, are being consumed by others without your permission.

You can experience it yourself by saying “No” once to such an invitation from people.

How do people steal your valuable time, money, and energy?

1. Stealing your valuable attention: 

Daily, you are offered certain things to be consumed either in a materialistic (tangible) form or an intangible form.

People take away your precious attention without you knowing about it. You are not able to say “No” to such behavior from yourself:

• If you are too active on social media or have many profiles through which you interact with different people and explain your lifestyle on different platforms.
• Suppose you answer, react or respond to the posts of friends or other people. In that case, you are constantly freely giving your valuable attention to them.

When you are not able to answer “No” to people’s questions in relationships in any form, either virtual relationships or physical relationships:

• You are wasting your life on certain activities that will affect your health and wealth. 
• Health directly because your mind will be occupied by the garbage or the extra piece of information given to you from the outside person. 
• You do not need this information from other people to live your life peacefully.

2. Taking you for granted and treating you like a commodity: 

If you are not aware of how valuable you are, you are in darkness, and you need to have a reality check of your situation in life.

You must realize that you have taken yourself too much for granted, and if you have taken yourself for granted – 100% of other people will take you for granted and treat you like an object.

You are a commodity for the world, and nothing more than that. 

No one, including your friends, really cares about you and is available to answer your questions, when you need them.

Suppose: 

Situation 1: What the sellers want from you is your money directly.

• You are working.
• When you are living a peaceful life.
• You are sincere in your work.
• You earn money, honestly. 

What the sellers want from you is your money directly. Instead, they come to you with the hope that you will give them a portion of your money through different selling ideas.

When you say No to their idea of selling, they get angry. They are also afraid that no matter what, they want their deal to happen.

Putting yourself in their shoes is the problem you face.

Become your boss and stop saying No to unsolicited requests.

Situation 2: The emotional sellers in the relationship want your presence directly.

In your personal life, what your family members and friends want from you is your presence and commitment because:

• You have a good personality.
• You are a charming or happening personality who is positive in his life.

They feed on your positive energy and discharge you completely. 

They make you feel guilty, when you deny their expectations from you.

Pros of Saying No: 

Knowing that you are valuable and powerful, my advice to you is to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, you must be aware of your valuable time, money, and energy and how you spend it on self-care or how you experience life with these three resources.

1. It is the most important practice to say “No” to things, someone’s request, and most people and keep control of yourself at the center. 

• To grow as an individual person
• To evolve as a consciousness.
• To give less importance to mind.
• To make the people irrelevant, who carry a mind of desires and tendencies around you. 

2. Dilution of control makes you weak and powerless. You can learn the art of saying “No” by:

• Having control over yourself.
• Overcoming your fear
• Trusting your consciousness and your individuality. 
• Trust that you don’t need other people to control or decide on your behalf.

The Art of Saying No:

If you want your life to be in your control, free from fear and approval of others, you can focus on yourself and check:

Henceforth, when you say “Yes” to events or people that are not on your schedule: 

• It would be best if you had your priority through which you can grow well in your professional field and earn more wealth for yourself.
• Do not donate it to other people because they want it.
• From the feeling of abundance, if you feel that someone is worthy of your money, time, and energy, that time you can donate or contribute. 
• You can donate or spend a certain amount of your time, money, and energy for the right purpose or reason that you feel is a genuine case.
• But if others are making you feel that you need to do it, creating a feeling of guilt in you. From that guilty feeling, you feel like donating or buying a product is not an intelligent decision.

What are the best ways to say No?

The best way to say “No” is a direct “No” to things and people.

1. How to say “No” to your mind- the desire for things: 

The next time you go out shopping to buy a specific dress or a specific item: 

• Go to that shop.
• Order what you want at that moment. 
• Buy that specific item and come home.

Restrict yourself from looking here and there and activating your mind.

• Your mind is unconscious, and it keeps showing you the glitters of matter and the glamour associated with costly glossy things that do not serve you.
• Do whatever is needed in your life, even if that item is costly, but when you need it, you will buy it. Have that kind of attitude.
• Do not make your house a museum in which you display all the things that are non-functional and not needed to satisfy your mind.

The above are the ways to say “No” to things that your mind shows as if they are needed for you.

In a way, you need to check your desires and tendencies and whether you have an addiction to buying things that you do not need, but you feel that buying those things will make you happy.

• If you are unhappy, then anyhow, you will be unhappy. Buying things will not make you happy.
• To work on your happiness, you need to work on your energies.
• If you have negative energies dominant in you, those need to be cleared from your system.

To remove your blocked energies, you can connect to me to help you to heal from your mental and energetic blockages, which are causing you to say “yes” to everything.

2. How to say No to people:

1. Saying a plain No: 

When it comes to people, you can set boundaries and say “No” directly.

• A plain “No” and sticking to it will work like magic.
• Your confidence boosts up.
• The other party is not keen to listen to “No .”Their ego is hurt when they listen to “No” from someone.
• If you start saying “No,” initially, it will feel like a struggle and hurt people’s egos. And when you hurt their ego, they will not offer you the next time.
• You are relieved. Almost everything you practice makes perfect sense
• It works. 

Try this, and you will thank me for showing you this point and dimension of saying “No.” 

2. You cannot afford it: 

You don’t need to make excuses or turn a lie unnecessarily just because other people do not understand.

For example:

If you are offered a product for buying, you can say no, that I cannot afford it.

• There is nothing good or bad in saying you have no money.
• People cannot push you more because the first criterion for them to sell you is they want money from you. 
• If you say no, you cannot afford it, simply their chance of or the probability of selling you is zero (0) here.
• They will go to the other customer.

Practical example: 

Practically, I have applied it many times, where I say a direct “No,” and it works. 

Once I told the seller that you are wasting his time on me because you are losing other customers who are moving around. 

The seller immediately went to the other customer.

What intelligence worked here? 

I focused on myself and realized that diverting his attention to the other customer frees me from existing commitments.

So you can find your intelligent, innovative ways like really successful people

• You can have your intelligence only when you apply this technique.
• Before any new commitment, see the results for yourself in your life.
• Once it works for you, it will work for you forever.
• Your idea, priorities, and success should get preference first

How can you tap your intelligence to learn to say No?

Likewise, there are many dimensions when people in your family, request you but in reality, try to use you. They do not respect your job and existing commitments.

• By assigning you to work that you do not need to do. 
• People can get the work done by paying it to a paid service provider, but they take your help ignoring your existing commitments.
• They have taken you for granted because you cannot say “No.” 
• In your work, your boss asks more things than your priorities.

To learn more about it and to have a different dimension of living life by saying “No,” you can connect to me for personal coaching and take a stand for yourself.

I will explain and guide you through all the intelligence to live a very practical and meaningful life.

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