Maria’s Awakening: From Pain to Power

Part of my Kundalini Awakening guide · Teachings by Guru Sanju

Opening and Diagnostic Intention

Good morning, Maria. How are you? Tell me about your nervous system and brain today. Are you recalling things better than before? Do you keep thinking a lot? How do you start your day? I am listening closely and testing how your brain is acting—how sharp you are, how you recall—so I can design the right process for you.

Today I will give you a different activity. Take a pen and paper. I will ask questions; first you will write the question, then you will write your answer.

The Cognitive Warm-Up: Pen, Paper, Recall

Write this exactly: “Tell me three things about my life for which I am grateful.”
Now, close your eyes. Feel. Reflect. Then write your answers. Go into the groove of feeling before you put words on the page.

Yes—stay with it. Feel it. This matters for your brain, for your healing. Do not rush. Let the feeling become words.

Gratitude Drill and Emotional Release

As you touch gratitude, other energies rise—tears, pressure, tremors. Do not block them. You need to release this energy. This is the right way to acknowledge what you are going through: feel it completely. Cry if you need to. Cry loudly. If you wish to lie down, lie down and cry.

If a small detail in the room distracts you—the lizard on the wall, a sound outside—let it become a grounding cue: “I am here. I am safe. I am releasing.” Then return to the feeling and let it move through.

Take a breath. Take the back support you need. Yes—let it go.

Naming the Pain

You are unhappy. Your mind is not making you happy about your existence. It feels as if everything is going down, as if you are dying, as if nothing makes sense. Release it. Feel it completely. You have come to a conclusion—good: your suffering is rooted in how you are treated in this relationship.

The Decision: Separation and Self-Respect

Do you really want to be separated from him? If you truly do, there is a path. If you choose separation, you will follow a process and we will walk it step by step.

I understand—you feel he does not care. You feel like an object in the same house, treated like a dead person. That is the problem. You must come out of a relationship that demeans you. Your children have grown; they have their lives; they do not need you physically as before. You did it for your children—now what? Now you live your life. You can be alone.

You Are Not Alone: My Commitment and Structure

Hold this possibility: in this journey, if you are with me, you are not alone. You have one more session left in this project; I am counting hours carefully. If you feel you need me continuously, we can commit for six months—regular sessions, sustained touchpoints each week. With me there, you will have something to fall back upon. I am powerful, and I can take care of you in the work we do. Stay in the project so you have time and structure to work on yourself.

Your brain and nervous system will begin to work again the moment you take a real decision—and you’ve taken it to a certain extent today. After decision, take steps, one by one, out of this relationship. Healing will follow action.

Skills, Work, and Safety

You are talented. You can learn skills again, return to work, become useful to yourself, and be alone for a time. If you are lucky, a loving partner may appear; if not, you will become self-sufficient enough to give yourself the love that was denied to you in your own home. That abandonment—that is the wound.

Your soul has been telling you to leave; the suffering is because you have not listened. You remain where your soul cannot breathe.

Let us think practically. Do you have any savings in your own account? What does your husband do? (Telecommunication—job.) In your city, what work is available to you besides nursing—part-time, two or three hours a day? You can start with light duties—billing in a shop, front desk, anything not too hectic for your current state—so we begin to anchor safety and agency in the real world. There is insecurity in your field; concrete steps reduce it.

Can you start nursing again, even part-time? When you do Child’s Pose and gentle breathing, do you feel better? Good—keep those, but remember: practices alone will not resolve what is fundamentally relational.

Listening to the Soul

Now, go inside and ask your soul: Where does she want to be free? Free in this house, or free somewhere else? If the freedom is inside this house, we will change the rules here. If the freedom is elsewhere, we will plan that. Be absolutely clear. Do not come to the surface. Keep going inside until you reach the answer.

How many years remain for your daughter’s education? Two? As a mother, do you feel you should remain in this relationship for those two years for her sake? Ask from truth, not fear.

How is he with other people? Is he the same man with them, or only with you? This helps you see the pattern without self-blame.

Practical Boundaries and Intimacy Reality

Do you sleep in the same room? On the same bed? Accept your situation as it is today and begin to focus on your life. Consider sleeping separately if possible—a different bed, a different room. You cannot go back and change the past. This is your present destiny: a husband who is emotionally dry and unavailable. Given this, the question is simple: Do you want to stay alive, or do you want to die? Choose life—and then take the steps life demands.

When was the last physical intimacy? Does he hug you? Does anything happen? If not, acknowledge that reality without self-attack. The body knows the truth; respect it.

The Conversation That Must Happen

Have you told him—clearly—your intention, your pain, your limits? If not, have that talk tonight if you can. Say what you feel about the relationship and listen to his response. Move the conversation out of your head and into real life. Only then can the next step become clear.

From now through the next two or three days, give yourself time to reflect and write. Whatever comes to mind, put it on paper—do not keep it trapped in the head. If you tire after writing, rest. When you feel ready, speak to him directly. Do not shy away. Express your feelings—good or bad. Even if he responds poorly, talk. Your soul cannot live suppressed.

The Two Possibilities (Write Them Down)

1. I will talk to him openly about what I am going through. I will ask for a solution and listen to what he says.
2. I will stop giving attention to him and begin focusing completely on my own life.

Your daughter comes home on weekends—note these rhythms, but do not make them your prison. Your first responsibility now is to your soul.

Techniques to Steady the Nervous System

• Gratitude + Reflection Drill: Pen-and-paper, eyes closed first, feel, then write. Three gratitudes daily.
• Emotional Release: If anxiety surges, stand or sit safely, exhale through the mouth in long, steady streams; let the face soften; let sound come; if needed, lie down and cry. Allow trembling in the hands and arms until the wave passes.
• Child’s Pose + Gentle Breath: Knees wide, forehead to support, arms forward or alongside. Breathe quietly, lengthening exhalations. Stay 3–5 minutes.
• Boundary Reset: If sleeping arrangements keep you in pain, move to a separate bed/room if available. This is a concrete signal to your nervous system: I protect myself now.

Remember: these techniques support you, but they do not replace the action that must occur with the person who triggers the wound.

Living the Truth Amid the Matrix

Do not aim for “goody-goody” peace. If a fight must happen to set truth free, let it happen. Let the struggle between soul and mind play out; let there be metaphorical bloodshed—the end of pretense. The relief you seek will come after you act. This energy cannot be discharged by speaking only to me; it must be released with the person involved. Be expressive. Do not fear the world’s opinion. Do not assume outcomes before you speak. Live your life.

Conditions for Our Next Session

I will take the next session only after you speak with your husband—today, tomorrow, or the day after. Take as many as seven days if needed, but do the action. After that, we proceed to the next step.

My powers are with you. Be courageous. Everything will align when you honor your soul.

Closing Charge

Take action. Write. Speak. Set boundaries. If mess arises, move through it—do not run. Share any update with me on WhatsApp; I will guide you as needed. We will schedule after your conversation.

Yes—now, about today’s work: are you excited? Have you done your part with the notes and the “data” you’ve been collecting about your state? Keep doing that. This is how we turn pain into a path.

Session complete. Choose life. Speak. Walk free.

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Rebuild Self-Respect in a Painful Marriage

I am Guru Sanju. I guide you to name your needs, recognise damaging patterns and make clear decisions about boundaries and your next steps.

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