Addiction is one of the most painful challenges a family can face. It does not only affect the person who is addicted but shakes the very foundation of the family. It brings worry, confusion, guilt, and helplessness. When a loved one is caught in the grip of destructive habits, everyone around them feels the impact. But the real question is—how do you help someone with addiction?
This discourse is based on a real case. Radhika wrote to me about her brother, who is 28 years old and working in a central government job. Since 2016, he has been earning a steady income of around fifty thousand rupees. In the beginning, he was very responsible. He looked after his parents, took on responsibilities with dedication, and was seen as the strength of the family.
But in the last two years, everything changed. He became addicted to online gambling and casino betting. He started taking online app loans secretly. His sleep cycle broke down, and he stopped eating properly. Whenever the family questioned him, he avoided answering. Radhika’s father is a heart patient, and her mother is struggling alone. Radhika herself lives in another city and is deeply worried.
Her question was simple yet heavy: How can we help him overcome this addiction?
Who is Facing the Problem?
The first thing I told her is something every family must realize: Who is facing this issue? You or your brother?
When a person is addicted, it appears that the family is carrying the burden. But in reality, the addict himself is trapped in his own inner struggle. The family sees his actions as destructive and feels shame or pain, but for him, at least initially, the addiction gives some sense of relief or joy.
So before you approach the situation as “you are wrong, you have shamed us, you are destroying your life,” pause and ask: “Why are you doing this? What are you feeling when you engage in this?”
This shift of focus—from judgment to understanding—is the first key.
Why Do People Fall into Addiction?
Every addiction begins with something good. At first, it gives expansion, relief, or excitement. Gambling, alcohol, drugs, or even compulsive shopping—these things create a false high. The mind feels, “I have discovered a quick source of joy.” Slowly, that joy becomes dependence, and then dependence becomes bondage.
In your brother’s case, perhaps he felt some happiness when he first started online gambling. Maybe it gave him a sense of risk and adventure that his routine government job could not. Maybe it gave him a small escape from the monotony of his responsibilities. Maybe he was feeling lonely, unloved, or unappreciated.
Addiction is never about the substance or the activity—it is always about the emptiness inside.
The Role of Family Pressure
Radhika mentioned that her brother has a stable government job. To outsiders, this looks like a lottery ticket. Relatives and society look at such jobs as the ultimate achievement. But ask yourself: what if he does not feel fulfilled there? What if he feels unappreciated, stagnant, or simply trapped?
Peer pressure, societal expectation, and family conditioning often push young men and women into careers they do not love. On the outside, they look successful. Inside, they feel suffocated. For such individuals, addiction becomes an unconscious rebellion, a way to escape the cage.
So before condemning him, ask whether he has ever been truly appreciated. Has anyone acknowledged his struggles? He was once very responsible—caring for his parents and family. But has anyone cared for him?
The Inner Void and Escapism
Your brother may be feeling extremely lonely. He may not be satisfied in his work. He may secretly wish he had taken another path—maybe a private or corporate sector job where his skills could shine and his growth would be faster. He may also be longing for love and companionship.
In the absence of genuine appreciation, love, and purpose, people look for substitutes. Online gambling becomes that substitute. It gives a short-lived thrill that masks the deeper emptiness.
Letting Him Face Consequences
One of the hardest truths for families to accept is this: if he has taken loans, let him pay them back. If he is unable to repay, and legal action is taken, let him face it.
Why? Because destiny teaches through consequences. When a person makes mistakes, natural consequences are often the most powerful teachers. If you keep shielding him, paying off his debts, or rescuing him, you may delay his growth.
He is 28 years old—an adult. He must learn that every action has a price. Pain will mature him. Struggle will awaken responsibility again.
How Should the Family Respond?
Do not bombard him with words like: “This is wrong, you are destroying our family, you are a shame to us.” He already knows that addiction is not good. Every addict knows it deep down. Your scolding will only make him withdraw further into silence and secrecy.
Instead, show him his good side. Remind him of how responsible he once was, how much he has already contributed to the family, how much he is loved. Be a support system for him. Let him feel that even if he is drowning, there is a hand stretched out—not to pull him forcibly, but to stay near him until he decides to rise.
Tell him, “You have always been our support. Now we are here as your support.”
This creates a safe space for him to open up.
Addiction or Escape?
Now comes the deeper layer: is he truly addicted, or is he simply escaping from some other stress? Sometimes what appears as addiction is actually a desperate attempt to avoid unresolved pain.
If he is genuinely addicted, he will need help to step out of it—professional guidance, therapeutic support, or spiritual practices. If he is escaping stress or loneliness, then the solution lies in addressing the root—helping him find fulfillment, appreciation, and joy in life.
What Can You Do Right Now?
- Communicate without judgment. Ask him with genuine curiosity: “What do you feel when you gamble? What does it give you?”
- Acknowledge his past goodness. Remind him of the strength and love he once showed.
- Let him take responsibility. Do not rescue him from his debts. Let him learn the weight of consequences.
- Be a support system. Assure him that the family stands with him, not against him.
- Encourage professional or spiritual help. If he is unable to quit, guide him towards seeking help.
My Guidance to Him
If Radhika’s brother himself comes forward, I will personally help him. Whether it is true addiction or just an escape from stress, there are spiritual methods, energy-healing practices, and psychological tools that can free him.
But the key is that the willingness must come from him. The family cannot drag him into healing; he must walk into it on his own feet.
Final Word to the Family
Do not drown in worry. Do not lose your peace. Addiction is painful, but it is also a teacher. It brings hidden wounds to the surface. Through this fire, your brother will grow, mature, and learn to take life more seriously.
Your role is not to fight his battle for him, but to stay present as his mirror, his reminder, and his support. Trust life. Trust destiny. He will learn his lessons.
Conclusion
Addiction is not just about wrong choices—it is about inner emptiness. It is about a soul searching for expansion but falling into shortcuts. Every addict knows deep inside that what they are doing is destructive. What they need is not shame but understanding, not judgment but guidance.
If you are dealing with a loved one’s addiction, remember:
- Ask why they are doing it.
- Let them face consequences.
- Be a support system, not a judge.
- Show them their goodness.
- Offer them the path of healing, but let the choice come from them.
In this way, addiction becomes not just a curse but also an opportunity—for the addict to grow, and for the family to discover deeper compassion, patience, and wisdom.
