The Agony of Awakening: A Divine Mystery
Why is Kundalini awakening so painful?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions I receive—hundreds of times, in fact—from seekers who are walking through the different stages of the Kundalini journey: at the beginning, in the middle, and even as they approach the final completion. The process can feel unbearably intense. The suffering can seem endless. And yet, there appears to be no solution on the outside.
You search. You wander. You begin what I call spiritual shopping. You visit multiple ashrams, meet many gurus, chase one retreat after another, all in search of relief, of clarity, of peace. But instead, you are met with even more complexity—more pain—on every layer of your existence: physical, mental, emotional, energetic, societal, and familial.
And if these layers are not addressed in time, there is a very real danger. You may begin to lose your senses. You may feel as if you’re slipping into psychosis. Some of you already are, exhibiting symptoms that modern medicine fails to diagnose accurately.
The Root Cause of Suffering: Ignorance
So what is the real cause of this pain?
Ignorance.
Ignorance of the mind.
Ignorance of the ego.
Ignorance of the personality.
You are unaware of what’s happening on the energy level. Your mind, conditioned by society, is blind to the vast energetic transformation underway. Your ego, shaped by civilization, keeps you in the illusion that you know what’s best. It keeps you from seeking the guidance of a true Guru with humility and surrender.
You think you are living. You believe you are doing. But what is actually functioning through you is not the Self—it is a personality construct. And Kundalini has come to destroy that construct.
The Purpose of Kundalini: Freedom from Lifetimes of Bondage
Kundalini has only one purpose: to free you.
She wants to liberate you from the karmic chains and lifetimes of bondage that keep your soul recycled in illusion. She burns away the debris of past lives—cleansing your energy, your breath (prana), your thoughts, your emotions, and even your cellular memory.
This isn’t ordinary purification. It is a divine purification at the most foundational levels of your being. The brain is rewired. The nervous system is realigned. The digestive system, the heart, the blood vessels, the blood itself—everything is transformed.
Do you understand the intensity of that?
It is not possible to undergo such deep change while living a regular, unconscious life. Kundalini demands your evolution. And in that process, the limited human form—your ego—resists.
The Divine Mother: Shakti Recreating You
Yet despite the pain, Kundalini is not cruel. She is Shakti, the Divine Mother. She does not wish for you to suffer.
She wants to smoothen the journey. Like a mother who watches over her child, she wishes to see you bloom. From a caterpillar, she wants to make you a butterfly. But the caterpillar has no concept of what it means to fly. It resists. It fears. It clings to its old form.
You are no different.
When the Kundalini rises, she asks you to give up non-vegetarian food. She asks you to stop killing animals for your taste buds. She asks you to stop drinking alcohol, to stop being a toxic vessel.
But your ego says, “Why should I?”
And so, the pain intensifies.
The Pain of Resistance
Pain is the friction between your ego and your evolution.
When you resist Kundalini, when you do not surrender to her wisdom, when you keep living the same toxic patterns of life—your body becomes the battlefield. There is a combustion happening inside: apana being burned by prana. That combustion is not just symbolic—it is deeply physical, deeply energetic, and deeply transformative.
You cannot continue killing life in the name of protein and expect spiritual evolution. You cannot toxify your body and hope to rise. You must become pure.
You must retain your seed—your life force. Whether male or female, this retention is your spiritual power. This is Ojas. This is Tejas. This is your bridge to higher consciousness.
Why So Many Lives? Why So Much Delay?
You might wonder, “Why is it taking so many lives to clear my karma?”
Because in every life, you resist.
You resist the call of the Divine.
And in this life too, many of you are doing the same. The cases I receive are shocking. The resistance is immense. Kundalini tries to rise, but your chakras are blocked. It’s like trying to drive a car with low-quality fuel and a dead battery—how will the car move?
And yet your expectations are sky-high.
You dream of enlightenment. You want to acquire psychic powers. You think you will become superhuman.
But you refuse to meet the basic requirements: discipline, clarity, vegetarianism, purity of thought, non-involvement in ego-driven worldly toxicity.
The Consequences of Refusal
If you continue to repeat the same mistakes, the pain will deepen.
Let me be clear: this energy can kill you if you resist it with all your might.
Many want to commit suicide during Kundalini awakening because the journey becomes unbearable. And if you’re reading this, having faced such moments of darkness and still alive—consider it a wake-up call.
That is why I, along with my co-founders, created Inner GPS Gurus.
Because we have walked through the fire.
We have been through the intense, suffocating episodes of pain, Kundalini psychosis, and dark nights of the soul. But we have also tasted the bliss. And that bliss only came when we stopped resisting, and surrendered to our energy.
Your Inner Voice is Kundalini Herself
The voice in your head that whispers what to do…
The voice in your heart that keeps returning with truth…
That voice is not your imagination. It is Kundalini herself.
She is your guide. She is telling you every day what to do—how to live, how to eat, how to transform. But you are not listening. You are disobeying her instructions.
And that is why you suffer.
You Have a Choice
But you are not helpless. You have a choice.
You can ask for guidance. You can educate yourself. You can begin to walk the disciplined path. You can complete your karmic settlements and become free. You can grow as a true human being—not just biologically, but spiritually.
You can become courageous. Self-reliant. Unshakable.
You can become whole.
But if you resist the divine flow that is trying to carry you into your highest form, you will be dragged—and the drag will be painful.
Awaken Now
So wake up, before it is too late.
For personal diagnosis, for healing, for guidance—reach out. Do not wander lost. You don’t need to suffer what others have suffered through ignorance.
The path is here.
The light is lit.
The Divine is waiting for your surrender.
